Tales of Vacation

There’s hardly a “celebrity” death more grisly than the suicide of Sylvia Plath in the early 60’s.  On a February morning not long after writing The Bell Jar, she crept past her two little sleeping children and headed for the kitchen, where she then purposely and fatally misused her gas oven.  Tragic, sad, unbelievable…yet on some days (or on some vacations), I toss around the idea that Sylvia Plath was not actually a suicidal head-case (inappropriate pun intended), but instead a really resourceful stay-at-home mom who had finally had enough. 

Obviously I’m joking, and also exaggerating for effect the difficulties of family vacations.  On this particular family vacation, there were only two or three times when I felt like sticking my head in an oven, and only one time when I yelled to my entire family “I’m done with ALL of you!” and hid downstairs with my book.  And even then, an hour or two later we were all down by the fire pit passing the marshmallows and drinking giant gin and tonics.  I was expecting several more near-disasters which would have been harrowing while living through them, but hilarious after some time had elapsed. 

See, we Tholen kids have racked up stories and quotes from a bevy of unfortunate vacation incidents.  In 1995, on a trip to Mackinac Island, my then-10-year-old brother, who was sleeping on the floor in a room with my dad, stepmom, and stepbrother (we four girls had the room next-door), got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.  He kept all the lights off, which was very considerate, until he locked himself in the bathroom and could not find the light switch or door handle, at which point it became very unfortunate.  His cries of frustration, then anger, then hopelessness, awoke my stepmom.  She turned on the lights in the room so she could launch a rescue, and to her horror, flapping near the ceiling were no less than a dozen bats, which had entered through an undetected hole in the window screen.  Another rescue was launched in the room, this time by Animal Control.  There are not many vacation experiences more harrowing than having bats swoop on you in the middle of the night in your bedroom, but now of course we all find it hilarious.  Plus, our family got a free night in the Presidential Suite to make up for the troubling experience.  That is all completely true. 

One of my siblings and my most often used quotes, “What’s funny about it?” comes from a particular vacation experience, again on Mackinac Island, ca. 1999.  It was really my dad’s personal experience (which we his children cruelly found to be hilarious before any amount of time had elapsed) during which, after a bout of extreme seasickness, followed by a fall off his bike on a dirt road which left a large scratch in his timepiece (his refusal to call it a “watch” gives you an idea of both its personal and monetary value), he walked back into our cabin, tripped over the rest of the family’s shoes, banged his head on the staircase and found himself having to utter for the first time the very words which we have smilingly repeated in similar situations.  “What’s funny about it?” said with a pathetic groan, is just what is called for during experiences that are both painful and comedic.            

The closest thing to a “harrowlarious” [that is an awesome new word that I just made up] experience that this latest cabin trip offered was a near break-down of the pontoon boat with half our family on it, which nearly necessitated a canoe-tow by Dave and Rich back to shore.  Once the canoe made it to the pontoon, they realized they did not need a tow after all – the pontoon would work as long as they never went into reverse and only made clockwise turns (or something like that).    

The near-rescue of the pontoon

Ellen caught her very first fish with Uncle Brother (my brother Michael) and showed absolutely no fear or repulsion at touching the bait, though Uncle Brother did help her hook it.  

Ellen's first fish

Celie spent most of her time hanging with her favorite cousin Scout and just generally looking cute and getting into things she wasn’t supposed to get into.  


Bear chair

 

Scout and Cecilia



It’s hard to be away from home with little kids – you have to be on high alert all the time for things that aren’t baby-proofed, especially with kids old enough to be mobile and young enough not to understand danger.  The sleeping part is very challenging as well – when one’s Pack ‘n’ Play is mere inches from one’s parents’ bed, or when one is snuggled between two cousins on a bed loaded with Pillow Pets, Thomas the Train pillows, and teddy bears, and it doesn’t get really dark until about 10, one tends to feel rowdy and disruptive, so it seems.  But we made some good memories, and had some good times…and we used the gas oven only for cinnamon rolls.  

Dakota and Addie had a fabulous time as well