"There's one...set to stun"

Being the first to rise in the morning is an absolute necessity for me.  I have to “calibrate to the day,” and if anyone else is up with me (except my sweet fuzzy Addie), then it can’t happen.  I need time to have half a pot of coffee and do a little writing and sitting in silence.  It helps if I can be dressed and ready to walk out the door before anyone else is up, too. 

Some days, like today, I fail at that endeavor.  I didn’t sleep very well last night, so when my alarm went off at 5:30, I promptly reset it for 6:30.  Then at 6:30, I reset it for 7:30.  Before it could go off, I was awakened by Dave plopping a pajama-ed Cecilia next to me.  All went downhill from there. 

I just got back from vacation in Arizona yesterday, and so I should be well-rested and restored, with patience to spare.  But with no “calibrating to the day” I had to lock myself in Dave’s office before 8:00 so that little girls would leave me alone.  I turned on Thomas the Train, and that gave me just enough time to text Dave all sorts of rude and irrational things: 1) he must have REALLY spoiled the girls while I was gone, 2) we must be raising terrible whiny children who don’t listen to a word I say, 3) I can’t handle this anymore, and 4) (the crowning text, the piece de resistance) “I have the fattest and manliest neck in this entire joke of a world.”  I didn’t water that last one down for you all – it’s a direct quote from my iPhone.

We escaped to Choo Choo Bob’s for a while, then had McDonald’s in the car.  Now they are watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse while I type this. 

My standards are so low that sometimes I think I need to dig a hole in the ground to find a single one.