Beginning. Again.

I used to be “obsessed” with journaling. 

Some of you who knew me in high school might remember this.  I think “obsessed” is the only word that fits – “avid” or “enthusiastic” are just insults to fifteen notebook pages (front and back) per day.  One could say that I was “obsessed” with a lot of things – Simon and Garfunkel is another great example.  That one in particular inspired me to print all the lyrics to “Bookends” on the cover of each of the twenty (or so) 3-subject notebooks which comprise the epic-length tale of my high school daze.  “Time it was, and what a time it was – a time of innocence, a time of confidences.  Long ago it must be; I have a photograph.  Preserve your memories – they’re all that’s left you.”    

That last line spoke to me (apparently very loudly), and to its end I wrote in great detail about minutiae such as Making Eye Contact with Certain Guy at Football Game, or Listening to New Mix Tape while Driving to School on Snowy Day, or Eating Chocolate Muffin in Commons during First Hour Free Period.  To my impressionable high school self, the occurrences of everyday seemed simultaneously mundane and profound, and therefore deserving of the ability to be relived through retelling.  So with the voices of Paul and Art running through my head, I set to capturing those beautifully boring moments with all the dedication I could muster.  I always thought that one day I’d share those journals with my kids, but now that my kids actually exist, I have no interest in that.  I’m pretty sure they will have no interest in that either. 

But I still value the preservation of memories, and I want to have in print at least some of the amusing minutiae of my days with my girls.  I find that my narrative voice is most authentic and least embarrassing when I write for an audience.  So, I’m blogging again.  I hope that all visitors to my blog will enjoy my entries, but to be honest, my intended audience, and the one I care about most, consists of two people: Future Ellen and Future Cecilia.  This is for them, and for Future Me, I guess, so that one day we can sit together and say with certainty “so that’s where the time went.”